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CHIEF SABATOUR
Denial is the chief saboteur of living well!!! DENIAL is refusing to see the truth while interpreting things in a way that will make them more palatable and easier to handle. Denial is a control tactic that enables us to pretend that life is as WE want it to be. Denial makes it impossible for us to accept life as it really is and make wise, godly choices to deal with it.
If you ask most Christians how they are, they will usually reply, “Oh, I’m blessed!” or “I’m just FINE!” or “Couldn’t be better, praise the Lord!” Yet recent statistics tell us that half of all Christians lead depressed, defeated lives, “feeling far away from God”. A third of the remaining Christians are struggling with emotional and spiritual burnout from working so hard to “feel close to God.” And only 5% of all Christians are really experiencing the acceptance, security, and peace of intimacy with God and abundant life in Christ. Only 5% of all Christians are actually living well upon this earth as God intended!!! This is a tragic return for Christ’s enormous sacrifice on our behalf. As His people, we are not LIVING the LIFE He purchased for us at such great cost.
Most Christians will deny that they struggle with depression, yet up to 20% of Americans will experience clinical depression in their lifetime. Most Christians will deny that they fight worry and anxiety, yet 1 out of 6 will experience some type of paralyzing anxiety disorder during the course of their life. Most Christians will deny or minimize the stress in their lives, yet an estimated 50 million Americans, many of them Christians, suffer stress related sleep disorders, not to mention the heart disease, high blood pressure, ulcers, and debilitating head and neck pain associated with stress. Most Christians will deny marital problems, yet about half of those who marry today will divorce, and that does not begin to tell the story of those who are living in a marriage where they are dying from loneliness because of no communication, no love, no connectedness; and often outright verbal and emotional abuse. Most churches deny the possibility of sexual addiction in its pews yet it is estimated that in a congregation of 500 people, at least 50 will be sex addicts, and with internet pornography so accessible, this is dramatically on the increase.
When Christians are interviewed, most resist and deny dysfunctional family issues, yet 27 million children live in a home without a father, and approximately half of these kids have not seen their dad in the last year. One out of 4 children are sexually abused by someone they love and should be able to trust, so that by the time they are 18 all their relationships are contaminated by trust issues. Two-income families and single parent families deny the sobering effects upon their “latch key kids” who are being parented by television, internet, and video games. Approximately 18 million kids today are being treated for ADHD, conduct disorders, OCD, and similar conditions associated with high stimulation and inconsistent structure in their lives; ever increasing numbers of adolescents, are turning to gangs, drugs, alcohol and sexual relationships in search of their identity; approximately 1 million teenage girls will end up pregnant this year with half choosing abortion; and suicide has become the number 2 killer of teens.
These statistics have been carefully compiled by The American Association of Christian Counselors, yet under the subtle sabotage of denial the Church just keeps smiling bravely each Sunday and at prayer meeting midweek declaring, “We’re blessed! We’re fine, Praise the Lord!”. When we stubbornly refuse to see or admit the truth…when we continue to hide from truth so we won’t have to deal with it in healthy, biblical ways, then DENIAL is the Church’s most dangerous enemy. Denial is the cop-out that keeps so many Christians in life-stunting bondage.
So denial is truly the chief saboteur to living well! Once we have our denial system in place…we even deny the resentment, guilt and self-pity associated with painful events and memories and relationships we do not want to face. Could you or a friend or family member be contaminated by toxic resentment or staggering under the garbage of guilt or sunk in a dry pit of self-pity? Is denial sabotaging your supply of living water? Contact us today for information about our Seekers program at livingwelltoday@bellsouth.net.
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A BAG OF GARBAGE
Some people say guilt feels like a bag of heavy, smelly garbage that they drag around behind them all the time. It is always there, an exhausting burden that weighs them down wherever they go…growing heavier and harder to tug along, as guilt accumulates and multiplies.
Did you know there are two kinds of guilt? True guilt is caused by breaking God’s moral law. Whether it results from sneaking cookies without permission when we are children or grave sins of omission and commission when we are adults…true guilt can be identified and forgiven, IF we are willing to confess it. But false guilt is not so easily identified or dealt with. False guilt can remain in our stinky garbage bag even AFTER repentance and confession. These feelings are usually the residue of difficult relationships or circumstances, like the guilt we feel if a raging mother yelled at us as a child, or the guilt we feel because an older sibling or relative made us look at pornography, or the guilt we feel over our parent’s divorce or alcoholism or our husband’s gambling problem or our wife’s uncontrollable spending. False guilt is guilt we innocently assume for the bad behavior of others…the free floating guilt we feel when we are mistreated or abused by someone we should be able to trust.
False guilt hides in the bottom of our guilt bag causing us to feel responsible for EVERYTHING that goes wrong and for EVERYBODY’S problems. It weighs us down and drags us into a deep pit of despair. Are you dragging around a heavy burden of guilt? How can you know? Ask yourself: Am I always apologetic for anything that goes wrong, constantly saying, “I’m sorry?” Do I consistently overwork, feeling I can’t “do enough” for others? Do I have a negative self-concept, filled with self-blame and self-resentment?
Your heart can not experience the freedom of Christ’s righteousness when it is weighted down with the garbage of guilt and shame. “No shame, no guilt” is a simple definition of “righteousness.” Call today for information on our Seekers class where you will learn how to sort out your guilt bag, empty the garbage, be cleansed and wrapped in Christ’s white robe of righteousness. |
A DEEP, DRY PIT
When we spend so much time taking care of others that we are too wrung out and dried up to live our own lives in fullness and joy, something is drastically wrong. The natural tendency is to work harder and harder to fight our depressing sense of failure, but in the “doing” we tend to dig ourselves further and further into an empty pit of self-pity, and that is a deep, dry “pit-y” indeed. But there is an alternative!!! There is a more biblical way to “love” others!!!
So many Christians, in their eagerness to serve, have missed the difference between care-giving and care-taking. Care-givers choose to give care to others out of the fullness of their relationship with God. Caretakers need to take care of others to fill their inner emptiness…to feel satisfied, fulfilled, important, and needed.
Are you a gracious care-giver out of your overflow from God or are you taking care of everybody and everything out of a sense of duty and need? How can you know? Ask yourself: Am I so exhausted from reacting to other people and their problems that I am not acting upon my God-given destiny? Am I driven to try solving everybody’s problems…and frustrated when they never seem satisfied? Do I feel responsible for other people’s happiness…and end up feeling used and abused? Do I care so much what others think that I will do almost anything to please them, but still feel drained and empty? Do I HATE the position and circumstances my relationships demand, but not know how to change them? Do I frequently ask myself: Why me?
Climb out of that deep, dry pit and have your dehydrated heart revived! Come thirsty to THE WELL and drink deeply through the Seekers class. THEN, go forth to love and serve from your overflow!!! | TOXIC WASTE
What is resentment, really? The Latin root word “sentir” means “to feel,” so “resentment” means to “re-feel” anger. Resentment is unresolved anger for things that have happened in the past. Resentment is anger that has gone underground, festering like emotional toxic waste. Just think about that: You can collect toxic waste and put it in containers and even bury it underground. But sooner or later, over months and years, it will begin to bleed through and poison the environment. So it happens in the environment of our heart when resentment is buried there.
Sometimes resentment is buried so deeply that we don’t even realize we are holding on to it, but sooner or later it will either implode, causing great damage to our body, soul and spirit, or it will explode, causing great damage to our relationships. Could resentment be lurking deep in your heart? How can you tell? Ask yourself: Am I haunted by past abuses or grievances? Do I have difficulty trusting others? Do I frequently struggle with depression? Do my relationships tend to be fragile? Unstable?
Resentment can do grave damage to us physically and emotionally and spiritually AND it makes healthy, fulfilling relationships impossible. BUT IT DOES SOMETHING EVEN MORE SERIOUS THAN THAT! Contact us today for class options and learn WHY we can not afford to hold resentment in our hearts and HOW to recognize and resolve hidden resentments that contaminate our SPRINGS OF LIFE. |
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